Baby-Growin'--Reel 2

24 weeks

27 weeks

30 weeks (June 14, 2011)

Good Grief!

Earlier today Curtis and I were coming up with bumper stickers for the angry drivers everywhere. It helps relieve the feeling like that we are going undeniabley nuts. We don't fit it here. It's painfully obvious. But, we do our best to make it fun to be the sore thumbs.


Sometime during our routine childhood vaccinations, each babe should be given a large dose of patience. It's ridiculous how much we are lacking in this character department. Why are we taking our time and ourselves so seriously?! ...At the expense of someone else's safety or time or happiness, too!? Do you actually enjoy grief?


Here's what you've got, and you're still pissed off:


**A modern engineering marvel harnessing a fascinating realm of natural phenomena and resources, with all or most of the following...


-A temperature control system.


-Glass protection from the elements, creatures, and fumes.


-A frame and additional components made to withstand great impact to protect you from injury.


-A system to play your choice of music, radio, books, educational lessons, etc.


-Engineered straps and self-deploying bags to protect you in the case of your (or another's) mistake.


-Storage space for your food and things to be brought to your home.


-Additional seats for your friends or family, or a cancer patient without the luxury of a vehicle or their health that needs to be transported to their treatments.


-Insurance to protect you financially in the event of an incident.


-A specific place to put and protect your vehicle when it's not in use.



-The ability to drive a short distance to find more of a non-renewable resource for your mechanical beast to burn in order to operate.


-Nearly flawless, paved roads to drive on.


-Lights, lines, signs, rails, bumps, turnouts, and lanes to maintain order, safety, and efficiency.


-An education about how to operate your machine safely and legally.


-A test to prove you've completed training safely and legally and are fully aware of the rules and laws.


-The privilege to drive.


-The freedom to go anywhere you desire.


-The ability to choose to donate your organs if something were to happen to you.


"Everything is not enough for me."


"Be more stressed out. It'll make you a better person."


"I'm better than you. Was that not clear?"

Baby Growin'

9 week ultrasound

12 weeks

15 weeks

18 weeks

21 weeks

**Due August 23rd**

17 weeks to go! :o)

Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy

So, I hear it's not FAIR!?

I asked my husband while we driving to get groceries if he could only use one word to describe [most] Americans, which he would use. He responded that too many came to mind.

Mine? Entitled.

There is this invisible force working our human instincts and dreams like silly puddy, putting our morals through the playdough hair salon. We're coming out with thinning strings of character and individuality on the other end. No one is immune. I'm not immune.

I always get this nervous feeling in my gut when we get to the grocery store, the 'giving a speech in front of judging eyes and ears' kind of nervous. How much of this will be thrown away? There are 14 other types, so why is that guy so mad they're out of "his" spaghetti sauce? How much money is going into the competition with other brands, the marketing, the label design process, the research, the advertisements, the processing... the shenanigans? Why is there so much? How many people are going without? And the whole venue: what is being put into this food so they can make so much (for so cheap)? What are all these artificial lab-foods doing to us? Are these ingredients making us easier to herd? Easier to sell bigger cars and diet programs to? How much more money and time and passion is being wasted because our waists have been wasted?

That Pursuit Of Happiness...

Why does that pursuit screw up our brains so much? Do we have an idea of when we might be happy?

It's the simplest thing in the world.

Would you be happy if you didn't have to work but were still able to get everything you want?

Would you be happy if everyone liked you and put you first?

Would you be happy if a kind and attractive person wanted you or married you?

Would you be happy if your children turned out to be great people?

Would you be happy if you got what you've been saving for?

...How long would you stay happy? Why would it go away? Why would you let it?

Did the thing make you happy or were you simply enjoying the distraction?

Try patience.

Try calm.

Try simplicity.

Try ridiculous.

Try giving.

Try helping.

Try you last.

Sit still without your phone or music or distraction on the grass somewhere, just you, just sit. Sit and dream about what matters to you. Dream about how you can be electricity. Give up complicated.

Holdfast

Two days ago Curtis and I named our child.

Every morning I read to her and talk to her and we sit in the green rocking chair listening to the birds outside and the cat meows for attention because she's so sure something's up. It slows my dizzy world. Baby grows every second in her warm, fluid world. She listens to my voice and my stomach growl and the fountain outside and the cat whining. I can't wait to show her the green, the birds that are all different, the people who already love her, the smells and way things feel to the touch... all the most important things. The things we tend to forget. I can't wait to watch her see and touch and love.

You are ours.

You are His.

You are so important.

You are so beautiful.

Let's keep growing.

Wanting

At every age, every point in our lives we have our obsession.

We have this here and now and only here and now and faith or fear or both and we obsess. We decide over and over that worry is useless, that we're not going to do it anymore, that we're done with resentment or depression or our selfishness. We decide over and over to give it up to God, to let things play out how they will and keep going. And each time we are on to the next, we start over, it feels new but it's different and the same. It's a fantastic mess. This progression is emotional Cirque du Soleil. Our palms sweat and we jump in our seats and marvel when it's over and want a souvenir. I love it. It's treacherous and rewarding and a mess.

At every age,

every point in our lives...

Walking, doing it ourselves, our bodies, growing up, becoming a rockstar, our bodies, getting a license, knowing your parents are morons, getting with that girl or that guy, getting into that university, our bodies, that hot professor, graduating, that job, getting married, the wedding, our bodies, being approved for the home loan, having a baby, our bodies, our major differences from our parents, the right childcare or babysitter, our parents' decisions, solving or avoiding marriage issues, our baby starting school, that breast lump, who our children are becoming, finding the meaning of our life... our accomplishments... our needs, our twenty-something boss at work, our baby driving, our children's bodies, our parent's mortality, our grandchildren, our distance even when we're close, our "backseat" feeling, how everything has changed...

The kids (and grandkids) not visiting enough.

Our loneliness.

Our bodies.

The decision to be happy.

And then.

All of it again.

All at once.

Decisions....