There is a rocking chair in our living room. I’ve been spending a lot of time there lately. A few nights ago we put up our little plug-it-in 3 ½ foot Christmas tree and the lights dazzled my blurry eyes as I snuggled my baby girl back to sleep at a few ‘til 5 am. Life has changed so much for me. I love the unpaved road and “Caution Ahead” signs everywhere. Maybe even a few “Slow Speed In Construction Area” ones. The sliding glass door holds back the wind but not the chill so Norah buries her face in my shoulder, her little legs wiggle at the bottom of her sleep sack. I feel the rise and fall of her chest on mine, the softness of her cheek and temple with my cheek. I listen to her tiny breath. I spend so many wonderful moments helping her back to sleep. She is the light inside of me, making me overjoyed to wade through anything because I can carry her through. Before I was an outline. Papa connected the dots. But Norah...she fills me with color. She gave me a wholeness I never knew was missing.
Do not underestimate yourself as a mother.
Give her everything you have inside of you.
Confess. Ask for forgiveness.
Forgive yourself.
She can remember you smiling often if only you do smile often.
You are already teaching her what it is to be a good woman, a good wife, and a good mother.
Be brave.
Send your fears, send your worries, send your anger up to Papa.
Remember that you forgave yourself.
Look up to her. She is innocent, pure, and good.
Look forward and daydream too. But cherish right now constantly. Each is a once only moment.
It'll be okay. It'll even be great.
No comments:
Post a Comment