So I've got this completely ridiculous theory...but it just might have some merit. And the idea makes me laugh. Which is generally the point of most things.
This all came about in wondering how much of my own food I actually get to eat. I have a Greek husband with ADD, if that explains anything. In watching him steal my food for the bazillionth time, here's what I amateurly conclude:
When women enjoy their food we tend to take smaller bites. Our food lasts longer this way therefore we can enjoy the actual taste and the way it nourishes and satiates our appetites and bodies. When men enjoy their food they tend to wolf it down, in as gigantic and few bites as humanly possible.
Men tend to wait on women for a lot of things because, like eating, they do things without thinking multiple thoughts at once. Our bodies might move slower because our brains are on perma-speed-dial. They're not thinking, "This is deli
cious. I really needed this. I haven't even eaten that much today. How many calories is this? I really am so grateful to have this meal. I love having meals with him. I hope there isn't pepper in my teeth. That was sweet of him to pay. I need to call my mother back. I'll call her later. Oooh, that bite was juicy!" If they are thinking while eating*, it may be more along the lines of a three-syllable state of hypertemporary awareness, "She looks good" or "This tastes good". When my man finishes a meal before me, if he is not stealing food off my plate, I can clearly see that it's taking every ounce of his current thought life not to steal my food. But...usually he steals my food. Not because he's still hungry or needs the nutrients. Because it's there and he can see it. (At the moment, I'm 34 weeks pregnant so... I swat).
cious. I really needed this. I haven't even eaten that much today. How many calories is this? I really am so grateful to have this meal. I love having meals with him. I hope there isn't pepper in my teeth. That was sweet of him to pay. I need to call my mother back. I'll call her later. Oooh, that bite was juicy!" If they are thinking while eating*, it may be more along the lines of a three-syllable state of hypertemporary awareness, "She looks good" or "This tastes good". When my man finishes a meal before me, if he is not stealing food off my plate, I can clearly see that it's taking every ounce of his current thought life not to steal my food. But...usually he steals my food. Not because he's still hungry or needs the nutrients. Because it's there and he can see it. (At the moment, I'm 34 weeks pregnant so... I swat).To round out my perfunctory observation, I'm thinking that this is a contributing factor in why women get called such lovely conjectures as "crazy" and "bitches"... we're so dang hungry because you keep stealing our food!
Gentlemen: Slow down, taste your food, enjoy the view, and remember that if your girl gets to eat, she'll have more energy to love you. And other such things.
*How many times have you asked your man, "What're you thinking?" And he responds, "Nothing"? I am pretty sure, fellow ladies, that he actually means he just wasn't thinking of anything. Can you believe this phenomenon?! It's obvious that men aren't thinking sometimes, but to think it's something they can choose to do!! Not many of us double-Xers have mastered this. If only...
[For Curtis, who eats cheeseburgers the same way he eats sushi--in six mouth-stuffing "bites". I love you madly, yumburglar!]
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