At every age, every point in our lives we have our obsession.
We have this here and now and only here and now and faith or fear or both and we obsess. We decide over and over that worry is useless, that we're not going to do it anymore, that we're done with resentment or depression or our selfishness. We decide over and over to give it up to God, to let things play out how they will and keep going. And each time we are on to the next, we start over, it feels new but it's different and the same. It's a fantastic mess. This progression is emotional Cirque du Soleil. Our palms sweat and we jump in our seats and marvel when it's over and want a souvenir. I love it. It's treacherous and rewarding and a mess.
At every age,
every point in our lives...
Walking, doing it ourselves, our bodies, growing up, becoming a rockstar, our bodies, getting a license, knowing your parents are morons, getting with that girl or that guy, getting into that university, our bodies, that hot professor, graduating, that job, getting married, the wedding, our bodies, being approved for the home loan, having a baby, our bodies, our major differences from our parents, the right childcare or babysitter, our parents' decisions, solving or avoiding marriage issues, our baby starting school, that breast lump, who our children are becoming, finding the meaning of our life... our accomplishments... our needs, our twenty-something boss at work, our baby driving, our children's bodies, our parent's mortality, our grandchildren, our distance even when we're close, our "backseat" feeling, how everything has changed...
The kids (and grandkids) not visiting enough.
Our loneliness.
Our bodies.
The decision to be happy.
And then.
All of it again.
All at once.
Decisions....
